T
his is my last post of the year of blogging. I've decided not to continue writing daily posts, as I mentioned earlier. It's too much effort for not enough reward. I'm glad I did this year, and stuck to it despite not enjoying it very much, but I will be putting the experiment to bed.
I do want to write, however. One of my issues with the blogging project was that I never felt like I was truly in a position to experiment and push myself with my writing -- I was constantly writing the post at the last minute, right before bed, which is in no way conducive to using writing as a craft, or a way to improve my longform thinking. However, the precision of the commitment was very useful for actually following through on it; so, I need to explore ways to a new writing habit that will better accomplish my goals for writing. This would actually be a good post for the first day of the year...
In any event -- I am one of the most blessed human beings on the face of the Earth. In my life, I have consistently found that every year that goes by has been better than the one before it. Certainly since the end of college, and maybe earlier, the things that improve in my life have always outweighed the things that may have gotten worse; and this year was no exception. Elena and I moved into our home together as man and wife; our son John was born; I started a business; I remodeled our house; I started lifting weights; my best friend converted to Orthodoxy; I designed my first game; I found a time management system that actually works for me; I've found that I have a tight community of Catholics right near our home; and the list goes on. I wouldn't trade this last year for anything.
I'm not very good at receiving gifts, and receiving gifts from God is no different. Virtually everything I've mentioned above is completely contingent on forces outside my control (and obviously those in my control are only so because of the powers granted to me). When great generosity is shown to me, I just kind of grin stupidly and throw up my hands. Showing real gratitude -- and then passing on those blessings -- I have yet to learn this knack well. This is what I should be really asking for in the New Year. Lord, teach me to pass on your blessings to others, that you might be glorified. Amen.