L
ight and Focused", a term I used in a conversation with my brother tonight. Weight has to be earned; and it is earned by focus. Modern relationships are pretty disordered in a number of ways, but poorly applied weight, and lack of focus I think are both very common, and somewhat easily remedied, for someone paying attention. Basically -- do not think of dating as an end in itself; dating is for marriage, first and foremost. I find this to be very clarifying. There are plenty of people one might "enjoy" dating. There are much fewer (though still, generally, a lot) people we would like to commit to marrying for life. Lightly testing the waters, I believe that you can know to a pretty high degree of certainty whether you'd like to marry someone within one year of courting them -- if you are focused and asking them and yourself the right questions (and frequently, a lot sooner than that, as in my own case). It takes some discipline and firmness of spirit to break off an "enjoyable" relationship with someone, but it is both necessary, and in the longer run, extremely fulfilling.