F
or the good which I will, I do not; but the evil which I will not, that I do." -- Romans 7:19
The advice I receive is sage. I know that it is powerful and efficacious, and I understand how it works, to the extent possible. "Trust in God, not in princes." "Worry not about tomorrow." "The first shall be last, and the last shall be first." "Pray that you shall be the humblest, the passed-over, the reviled." "He that loses his life, shall gain it."
But when a perfectly good opportunity comes along in my life to actually practice these divine words, I recoil immediately. "No! I will worry about tomorrow! And my reputation! And my money! I wish to be the first, the exalted, the impressive!"
Outwardly, I don't put on too much of a show of vanity, but interiorly, my pride is wounded, my peace unsettled. Yet I know this is the narrow path, the path to life. I would like to be able to walk it with joy; but, I suppose there is no reason to expect walking it should be painless. I think we have to accept that pain and joy are to walk together in this vale.