H
ow am I not an outside observer of my religion -- those that follow the man Jesus of Nazareth? From all exterior appearances, I ought to be at best an interested appreciator of Christianity, curious about the architecture and theology, but unable to take the leap to actually enter, and accept the tenets of Faith. For most of my life, all I could do was imagine what it was like to have a cultural home, a tradition that was authentically one's own. As a modern American, deeply removed from any European roots, it was obvious that I'd be a detached individual, living and thinking by "my own lights" for the whole of my existence.
But I'm inside now, and it feels so natural to be here. This is the wild thing about being a practicing, believing Catholic, even a convert -- I truly belong to this tradition. The cathedrals, the processions, the confessional, the chant, the literature, it is mine, in a way that it simply wasn't when I was a regular secular guy. The spirit and order of these things relate to my everyday experience that is continually growing richer. These days, I feel at my most "normal" while singing at Mass, ideally just after having confessed my sins to a priest. I have a say in what goes in my faith community; my voice has meaning, and is interacting with the voices of the last two millennia that are echoing down the corridors of time.