W
e are forever looking into the eyes of others in a “casual” sense; a quick glance to maintain connection, flicking back and forth between the scenery and their eyes during a conversation. How long have we spent looking into the eyes of our friends? What’s the longest uninterrupted time?
With romantic partners, looking in the eyes becomes much more intimate. We engage in an active exploration of the other via the eyes; an improvisation of smiles, blinks, and head angles can completely take over a conversation.
And then there’s looking into a baby’s eyes; an experience completely free of social consequence, just open examination for minutes on end. It’s a wild thing — I think I’ve already racked up more time looking into John’s eyes than many friends that I’ve had for years. He just wants to stare and stare, thrilled by his own powers of recognition, building bond on bond with the two people he has learned will protect and care for him. He doesn’t yet have the capacity to manipulate the social membrane between the two of us; he simply lives there, enthralled and happy, ignorant as well of the great good that he does to my own soul.