I
forgot to eat cookies today.
Sundays are the days when certain Lenten disciplines can be relaxed. I'm trying to make this Lent a real fast, generally restricting myself to a single meal (usually soup at lunch) during the day. Today was my first Sunday, and I thoroughly enjoyed a Five Guys cheeseburger with Elena, and a full dinner with David and Jo.
But I forgot to eat our cookies when we got home. The cookies sitting on the microwave, that I now can't have until next Sunday.
I'm known for eating a fair bit when I get down to it, but it's during fasts like this that I realize just how much my day revolves around the pleasure of eating. I have a fast metabolism and healthy dietary instincts, and don't really put on weight, so I have no guilt associated with food whatsoever. It's only when my next meal simply doesn't exist, that I realize how much I was looking forward to it. Or to some thrown-together snack to tide me over. To a home-cooked breakfast in the morning.
I don't usually think of myself as a glutton, per se, but it's actually fairly clear that I am one -- I just don't suffer a lot of consequences for it. Let's be clear about this fast -- it's not even that bad! I get to eat soup, and hearty bread, and they're both delicious, and I'm by no means starving. But the depression that sets in when I realize that my plate is empty, and it won't be even relatively full for another 24 hours... it makes me realize just how important Lent is. If we make our happiness dependent on temporary, fleeting things, what do we expect to happen when they are all taken away? Better to lean on He who never fails, and Who is ever present, and knows your heart more deeply than you ever could. I hope I learn.